The Key To Becoming The Empowered Empath
Nowadays, most spiritual and psychological posts on social media are awash with the topic of empathy and narcissism. Many people have views as to the dynamics which links these two seamingly polar opposite personality traits; the common consensual view and narrative being that there is a spectrum that links the two together, in what is known as a co-dependent and parasitic relationship construct, whereby the narcissist vampirises the attention and good willed nature of the innocent victim. That is to say, the empath.
The narcissist usually does this because he/she feels powerless to self-generate positive validation and a strong self-image from within, so they take energy from those who are vulnerable and can enable them.
And while it does certainly help to identify this pattern, many empaths have overly bought into this model. This only further perpetuates the cycle moreso as the empath now believes that they are innately a victim because of their nature. They believe that they are powerless to this aspect of themselves, taking it in as all that they are, and that they will always be a victim to a manipulative and predatorial narcissistic bogeyman.
But if the narcissist uses and takes advantage of the empaths good nature, and the empath is essentially the fuel for the narcissist, then one can withdraw ones attention and energy from the narcissist thus depleting their resources.
Quintessentially it comes down to choice and free will; and many empaths feel as if they do not have a choice when it comes to how they feel. Now this is true to the extent that you are hard wired to receive certain stimulus (be it emotional, mental, spiritual) much more than the average person.
However, how one responds to the stimulus is the key. To be able to recognise the emotional trigger beforehand without judgement and then to consciously choose how one acts before the emotional trigger becomes too overwhelming.
Now I’m not saying to do this by yourself. You can and should seek help when needed. But seeing that nobody is responsible for how you feel can only serve to empower you; and just because there is a lot of strong feelings or sensations doesn’t mean we have to fall victim to it.
We as empaths take on way too much of the world around us, and some of us believe that we have to. I know I did. But that in turn can be seen as a coping mechanism to find an easy justification for being a victim, because we believe that the big bad threat of the narcissist or any form of ridicule will deeply be felt and hurt our self-concept.
But this is not to do with empathy at all, it is to do with self-worth. And that is both separate yet interrelated for empaths.
Reclaiming a strong sense of self-worth as an empath is the ability to choose how we feel and learn when to turn down the volume on our empathic skills where and when it is deemed necessary.
The goal ultimately for us empaths, in a world that is both black, white and everything in between, is to choose how we feel by becoming a master of self. To choose from the many shades of grey and bring our own heartfelt colour to it.
By knowing what our triggers are and why, we can minimise the turbulent energies and form stronger personal boundaries, so we know where we stand emotionally in any given stressful situation or whilst engaging with an emotionally draining person.
So to my fellow empathic brothers and sisters understand this, your role and gifts do not make you an open wound to the abusers of this world and the world itself. Your task is to become a Zen master in nipping the emotional triggers in the bud and remaining open when you choose as an enlightened Jedi of the Self.
This world will greatly appreciate you when you yourself appreciate your own innate value. Just don’t throw your pearls before the narcissitic swine.